6:15 Most ridiculous things said to flight attendants:
1. “Do they pay for your hotel rooms?” I love this one. Can you imagine if the whole crew was staying in different places and the junior people were grabbing a park bench to sleep on, or couch surfing in their uniforms? Yes, the airline pays for hotels and arranges transportation to and from the hotel. Otherwise, every flight would be late while we figured out where so and so was staying.
2. Where are the lines between the states? You would be surprised how many people think there are actual lines between the states like on a map.
3. On night flights we will go through the cabin with trays of orange juice and water. Passengers will look at the tray and say: “Which one is the orange juice and which is the water?”
4. “When do I change the time on my watch or will it change itself as we go?”
5. “I don’t mean to scare you, but something out there has been following us for hours!” It’s the light on the wing.
6. We ask, “would you like cream and sugar in your coffee?” and they hesitate like it’s a difficult ‘Jeopardy’ question.
7. It takes years before you realize you can answer people’s questions with the wrong answer and they never know the difference. When they ask what river they are looking at, I always say Mississippi—no matter where we are in the country. Same thing with the circular irrigation circles you see in farm areas. “What are those circles out there?” Private helicopter landing pads.
8. What country is Hawaii in?
9. We point to where the bathroom is and the passenger just stands there. I’ll point to it again and they will say “it’s vacant.” They have no idea what the word vacant means, I guess we really shouldn’t use such fancy words like vacant.
10. “Have we landed yet?”
11. “Do you have a writing pen?”
12. We no longer have pillows in the economy cabin. A passenger asked me for a pillow and I told him they were discontinued. He asked “were people choking on them?”
13. “How do I move my seat forward?”
14. “When did you guys start wearing uniforms?”
15. On the customs and immigration form it says: Sex M-F. Passengers will ask if it means how many times they have sex Monday to Friday!!!
6:45 By the way, if you're looking to watch the US vs Germany World Cup game today. Here's your "get out of work note" courtesy of the coach of the US team. Game time is noon.
7:15 MODERN-DAY ETIQUETTE:
A few tips on proper behavior from Amy Alkon, author of “Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck” …
• Think twice about throwing a birthday party in a pricey restaurant, unless you’re picking up the entire tab … or all your friends are kazillionaires.
• It’s bad form to break up via text. Once you’ve spent more than a few naked hours with somebody, you can text them to tell them you’re late … but not that you’re never coming back.
• First dates should be cheap, short, and local. Meet for coffee or happy-hour drinks for an hour or two at most. This keeps things from going too fast, and puts a limit to a bad-date nightmare.
• At a business function, introduce yourself with both your first and last name. “Hi, I’m Amanda” sounds like it should be followed by “and I’ll be your cocktail waitress”.
• RSVP. All it takes to keep your host from feeling you don’t give a bent crap about them is 20 seconds of your time to respond right away or mark your calendar to respond in a few days.
• Send thank-you notes. It’s simply good form after a job interview, after a party, anytime someone has gone out of their way for you. You can do it via email, but snail-mail is classier.
• Friends don’t post photos that make friends look like crap. Even if the main focus of a photo is you looking radiant, resist publishing it if it also captures your pal in an awkward moment.